Coordinating Family Support: Sharing the Load in Caregiving

Caring for aging parents is rarely a one-person job, and when multiple family members are involved, proper coordination can prevent burnout and ensure that no single person carries the entire burden. The key to a successful caregiving arrangement is clear communication, defined responsibilities, and time allocated for rest. Here are specific areas where siblings, extended family members, independent care managers, or even close friends can step in to help:

Key Responsibilities That Can Be Shared Among Family Members

1. Transportation & Mobility Assistance

• Doctor’s Appointments: Assign different family members to take turns driving or accompanying your loved one to medical visits. Keep a shared calendar for appointments.  Consider downloading the app Primary Record so that you have one place to organize and share your family’s health information.  And don’t forget to take notes to share after the appointment.
• Grocery Shopping & Errands: One sibling could handle weekly shopping trips or meal deliveries, while another takes care of prescription refills.  Look at meal preparation services like Factor meals or Flexx Nutrition, or hiring an senior chef to come in a prepare meals for the week to warm up.  
• Social Outings & Religious Services: Encourage family participation in social events, church services, or other outings to prevent isolation, depression, or apathy.   Instead of saying “why don’t you go to church on Sunday” say “Let’s go…”.  Be the one encouraging and facilitating the outing.
• Ride-Sharing Services: If family members are not available, explore community-based senior transportation programs.  A last consideration could be to set up an Uber or Lyft account for your loved one, however, be extremely cautious.  Your loved one could be overwhelmed in this environment, and the driver may not understand how to transport someone with a walker or wheelchair.  

2. Medical & Medication Management

• Tracking Medications: A designated person can ensure prescriptions are refilled on time, organize pillboxes, and set reminders for daily medications.  Look at purchasing a pill dispenser that opens at predetermined times.  
• Coordinating with Healthcare Providers: One family member could take the lead in speaking with doctors, understanding diagnoses, and following up on medical recommendations.  Again, if one person cannot fulfill this role, maybe look to hire a case manager to attend these appointments with your loved one.
• Handling Insurance & Medical Bills: Another person can assist with reviewing medical bills, insurance claims, and making sure payments are processed correctly.  The insurance landscape is always changing, and come Medicare open enrollment, you are often inundated with switching policies.  Look to SHIP, the State Health Insurance Program, as a neutral party to ensure you have the right coverage.

3. Household Maintenance & Daily Living Assistance

• Housekeeping & Meal Prep: Family members can rotate responsibilities for cleaning, laundry, and cooking meals to make home life more manageable.  Source out as much as possible to help avoid caregiver burnout.
• Home Modifications: Assessing home safety needs (e.g., installing grab bars, better lighting, or wheelchair ramps) may be best handled by someone more skilled with home projects.  Look to a firm like In Home Preferred who focuses on making small modifications to age in place safely. 
• Technology Support: Helping loved ones use smartphones, setting up telemedicine appointments, or managing smart home devices.   Firms like Servant’s Touch exist to help with exactly these things.

4. Financial & Legal Affairs

• Bill Payments & Budgeting: One trusted family member (often with Power of Attorney) can help manage financial accounts, pay bills, and track expenses.
• Long-Term Care Planning: Another might focus on researching care options (home care, assisted living, or nursing homes) and discussing financial feasibility.  Engage with an expert to explore senior living options and discuss the senior care continuum.  The Indiana Parkinson’s Foundation just hosted one of these experts on their YouTube Channel and the presentation was extremely educational.
• Legal Paperwork: Someone should take responsibility for ensuring that wills, trusts, healthcare directives, powers of attorney and other legal documents are updated.  At Perkins Wealth Advantage, we do not draft these documents but will summarize them to clearly outline all key roles (and people) and to see if wishes are still reflected.

5. Emotional & Social Support

• Companionship: Beyond logistics, caregiving also includes emotional support. Scheduling visits, phone calls, and social activities can make a big difference.  Again, “Let’s go…” do something together.
• Respite Care: Even primary caregivers need breaks. Siblings or other relatives should offer to take over caregiving duties periodically so the primary caregiver can recharge.  Support groups are key, even if it’s just lunch or coffee with a friend.  Visit PrimeLife Enrichment in Carmel to get a break while your loved ones gets some much needed social engagement.  Or if you’re still working, Joy’s House offers adult day services.  Joy’s House has a splendid radio segment called Caregiver Crossing the Podcast that talks all things caregiving.
• Conflict Resolution: Sibling disagreements about care responsibilities are common. Having open conversations, possibly with a mediator or family therapist, can help resolve disputes.  I’ve seen many families fall apart after a parent’s death for exactly this reason, so if staying close is important to you, please engage a professional.

How to Ensure Smooth Coordination

1. Create a Shared Calendar: Use tools like Google Calendar or apps like CaringBridge to schedule responsibilities and track appointments.
2. Hold Family Meetings: Regular check-ins (in person or via Zoom) help keep everyone on the same page and prevent misunderstandings.   Set a meeting cadence like the 3rd Thursday of the month so everyone can schedule their busy schedules around it.
3. Divide Tasks Based on Strengths: If one sibling is better with finances and another is more patient with medical care, assign roles accordingly.
4. Bring in Outside Help When Needed: If family members can’t manage everything, consider hiring professional caregivers or using community resources.  The Aging Life Care Association can help you find certified care managers in your neighborhood or in your loved one’s neighborhood. 
5. Keep the Loved One's Wishes Central: While siblings may have different opinions, always prioritize what’s best for the aging parent or loved one.

Lastly, be on the lookout for warning signs of your loved one needing more care or oversight.  Maybe you don’t see them all the time, and so be sure to pay attention to things like changes in eating, housekeeping, voice, speech, attitude, hoarding, spending (excessive Amazon boxes, anyone?), etc.

By structuring responsibilities thoughtfully and working as a team, families can navigate caregiving without overwhelming any one individual. This approach helps aging parents and loved ones receive the best possible care while ensuring that caregivers maintain their own well-being.